Rants and Bants

If Ghanaian musicians were European Football Clubs

The European football league is undoubtedly one of the most popular leagues Africa, and Ghana is no exception. This year, there have been a lot of plot twists and pleasant surprises in the league.. and also in the Ghanaian music scene. So we compared the 2017 form of European football clubs to the performance of Ghanaian musicians this year. Some of the comparisons are dead ringers, others are debatable but enjoy!  

  • PSG (Shatta Wale) – Super rich and bullying everybody, even their own players.Image result for psg   Image result for shatta wale

 

  • Manchester City (Stonebwoy) – Shark team! They keep eating. you feel they could be on the cusp of something special, playing so well and doing well abroad too. Stonebwoy could become Ghana’s first Grammy winner if Morgan Heritage wins best reggae album. Fingers crossed!

Image result for man city Image result for stonebwoy      

  • Manchester United (Sarkodie) – Lost a bit of the fear factor and panache they used to possess but still a big name, in fact one of the biggest names in football and their fans are as loyal as ever. Not as entertaining or catchy as City or PSG but they still get the job done. Won the Europa/Released the Highest album amid much fanfare. Solid year.

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  • Barcelona – (Lynx; Kuami Eugene and Kidi) – Lost Neymar (MzVee’s been on the low in 2017) but Messi (KiDi) and Suarez (Eugene) are blowing everyone away at the moment. Suffice to say they owned 2017

Image result for barcelona Image result for lynx entertainment Image result for kidi mz vee      

  • Bayern (Ebony) – Just like the German league, no competition for Ebony in 2017. Legit the only female musician releasing banger after banger and staying in the news. The ladies need to catch up next year.

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  • Liverpool (Samini) – Once the kings of English football but not as respected anymore, especially by the newly emerged superpowers (PSG and Man City). Sporadic bangers. Signing of Salah (release of My Own) and their subsequent performance gives the feeling that they might be back but we’re all expecting the euphoria to die down soon. (credit to @AbrefaIII)

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  • Napoli (King Promise) – Very good form, untouchable at the moment. Gained lots of fans. Most neutrals think they’re playing the best football out of the big teams.

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  • Leipzig  (La Meme Gang + Kwesi Arthur) – Came out of nowhere, punching above their weight but doing fine. took 2017 by the neck, threatening to break through into the big time, look a level above their peers at the moment and they have loud fans (just like their hair colours).

Image result for leipzig fc Image result for la meme gang kwesi arthur    

  • Inter Milan (EL) – Had a bit of a downtime but they seem to have done their homework and invested well. A change of management for both sides has brought an upturn in form. Inter is doing well in the Serie A (1st position as at December 8) and EL’s Bar 4 is being likened to the Bar I, which most fans say is his best work so far.

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  • Real Madrid (Mr Eazi) – Very few can match up to their pedigree on the international front but all is not rosy back home. Not in their finest of moments but definitely no pushovers.

Image result for real madrid Image result for mr eazi      

  • Juventus (M.anifest) – Comfortable and playing the game at their own pace. Making inroads abroad but not much impact felt at home.

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  • Chelsea (R2bees) – Consistently dropping hits throughout the year. Had the most popular song at some point during the year (Tonight). Might have relinquished top spot but doing well within the top 4.

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  • Spurs (Kofi Kinaata) – After a previous season of dining at the table of men, both seem not to have taken the next step. Not doing bad but could do better. Kinaata has failed to capitalize on the 3 VGMA’s earlier this year and growing fanbase. Hopefully 2018 treats them better.

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  • Leicester City (Medikal) – Remembered mostly for that season. Nobody really cares what they do these days but wouldn’t mind seeing them at the top again.

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  • Arsenal (Joey b) – Can be so frustrating to watch. You know they have the potential to be so good. It’s so obvious, but what is preventing them from moving into the next gear? Why so laid back bruh?

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  • AC Milan (FUSE ODG )– Big name, beefed up the squad with quality foreign players (in Fuse’s case, a bromance with Ed Sheeran) but still no major progress. What is happening?

Image result for ac milan Image result for fuse odg      

  • Newcastle (Guru) – Ups and downs, mostly downs. Its been a year to forget.

Image result for newcastle fc Image result for guru ghana      

  • Chapecoense (Wutah) – Big comeback year with the aptly named Christmas banger, Bronya. Their return after the tragedy/split seems to have only made them stronger. 

Image result for Chapecoense Image result for wutah      

  • Crystal Palace (Sister Debbie) – Are they really cut out for this? Will they survive this game?

Image result for crystal palace fc Image result for sister deborah      

  • Everton (Zylofon Media) – Signed everybody. Stonebwoy aside, we’re yet to see them making real waves. Maybe next year

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  • Dortmund (4×4) – whats happening in Dortmund? We need answers! Aubameyang (Captain Planet) says he can’t keep carrying the team forever. A split looks imminent

Image result for dortmund fc Image result for 4x4 ghana        

  • Portsmouth (D-cryme) – Who remembers them?

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  • We saved the best for last. And now, can we all rise to our feet and sing the national anthem as we welcome the Pep Guardiola and Lionel Messi of Ghanaian music 2017, PATAPAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!Related image

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Abeiku is a motivational speaker at Farfett Foundation and a Morata fanboy.

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