Be A Marketing Genius Like Kim K

Kim Kardashian is a super talentless woman of 35 and she is my role model. 

I won’t even lie. 

It’s not because of her beautiful body or her glossy Armenian hair. Definitely not for her piercing annoying voice or her excellent selfie taking skills. No Kim Kardahian West is my role model because of her marketing style.

I said earlier that Kim K was talentless. I’m sorry. She’s not. Common misconception.

She’s as brilliant as the popular bar soap. 

She has a net worth of $52.5 million and does actually nothing. Or does she?

Here’s a few ways to get rich by being completely talentless the Kim K way. 

1. Get caught up in a big enough scandal that will get you attention, but a small enough one that won’t get you too much attention. 

You want to be bursting into the scene in a sprightly walk and Loubs not tripping with your face flat in the dirt in some God awful crocs (sorry croc lovers…. No wait, why are you even croc lovers? Why do you like crocs?!! ). See what Kim did was pop in with a “hello, is anyone home? ” with Paris Hilton. And then when the tabloids knew her name she came in with the loud banging with Ray J (no pun intended ). You don’t want to make too much noise i.e Monica Lewinsky. You don’t want your name to be hushed on the streets. You want it blown up in lights and large billboards on highways across the world for goodness sake! You don’t want to be associated with negatives. You want to be the kind of sunshine that burns but you still like it any way. It’s just slightly something major… With not someone so high profile. Case study Kim Kardashian and brother Ray J. 

As at the time of Their relationship, brother Ray was way popular than Sister Kim, but he wasn’t VERY POPULAR. That was the mistake Monica Lewinski made. You don’t want to be involved with the President of the United States of America… Or any extremely high profile person. Kim knew what she was doing when she settled for then B list celebrity Ray J. She didn’t compromise, she was following through on the basic steps to make it the easy way in Tinsel Town. 

2. Turn your scandal into success.

Mommy Kardashian banking on baby Kim’s new found fame (irrespective of its nature) cashed in a million dollar idea and cheque and started the million dollar campaign of “we’re not famous but watch our lives”. Capitalising on the scandal to make millions of dollars for the family and herself, Kim Kardashian established a niche. And right now, from what I see, she’s still running it. The reality TV show Keeping Up with the Kardashians has become a regular on local American and international TV screens. Watch you tell your grandchildren about Rob and Khloe Kardashian like how our 80’s children talk about Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I wouldn’t be surprised. Plus the variants of the show keeps things interesting and makes them more money. Courtney and Khloe take Miami, the New York one … Don’t ask me how I know…. I just do. I wouldn’t be shocked if it was for this same factor that Bruce Je- sorry,… Kaitlin Jenner underwent her transformation and got a TV show out of it. He’s seen the wonders the reality TV show scene did for his second family. If I were him I’d take in on that too. 


3 Branch out: 

After establishing a niche and a following (as Guru Kardashian did) you explore other areas. Not only is Kim K doing endorsements and ads but she’s also owning scents, jewelry, clothing lines and shops. People pay her to post products or services on Instagram and other social media outlets. She is no longer just a TV personality or a budding pornhub beauty but she is a model, an entrepreneur, a writer, a selfie- advocate … Among others. Kim has gone from loitering around Paris Hilton to being a bigger celebrity than Paris Hilton. Kim is modeling for Prada, front lining fashion shows, appearing in movies and tv shows… She is a star. She is popular for being popular…and getting paid for it! No one can call Kim dumb. Kim is the ultimate mastermind. 

4. Stay relevant: 

Once Ms Kimmy K gave the world a bit of her (who am I kidding? All of her) she had to remain in the limelight. So her marriage to Kris Humphries got her into the sports limelight. She was no longer, “some prissy girl from Hollywood with a reality show” she was now known by people in the sporting world. How ever short that marriage was, it served its purpose. She had expanded her following and made herself relevant in sports. 

Her marriage to Señor Kanye West, tossed her into the hip hop scene. Now she is relevant to the hip hop industry. With her name on the lips of many rappers in numerous songs, it is established that Kim is killing it in that scene. Plus her association with Chief Kanye practically makes her rap royalty. Kanye is one of the highest selling rappers in the world right now. Kim is his wife. Kim is the American rap equivalent of Pippa Middleton, relevance-wise. 

 Her mothering status appealed to stylish and fashionable mothers and such. And in all of this the tabloids go crazy. Her life is her money, the more she is heard about or seen, the more she gets paid. 

Now a lot of people say Kim K talks a lot. On Twitter, on Instagram etc… But that’s her doing her job. 

She’s getting paid to remain relevant and at a budding 52 and plus million. 

So boys and girls with these basic tips from Mama North we can conclude that marketing can simply be conquered with this strategy: 
Be at the centre of controversy as often as possible, create a life out of the controversy and when you trend, branch out.

Benewaah is the lead curator and editor at Harmattan Rain. Her love for music is closely rivaled by her love for plantain.

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